A HardBoiled Birthday
by RunwithscissorsXXXbattlescars
Summary: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, GIRORO! Natsumi wants to get him the perfect present, but what in the universe could a battle-scarred soldier like HIM want from a Pekoponian like HER? Hmmm... I wonder... (It's the actual Pekoponian date - His birthday's today!) *candidate for deletion*


**When I found out what date Giroro's birthday was on, 7/23, I couldn't resist writing this way back in December. (Sheesh, it seems EVERYTHING I write was in December! Sorry….) And then when I got a FF net account, I promised myself I'd post it right on the date in honor of him.**

**I don't own Keroro Gunso. Happy birthday, Giroro! My present to you is this GiroNatsu story in your honor! Please enjoy!**

* * *

The date was 7/23.

In simpler terms for the less perceptive, Corporal Giroro's birthday. He didn't know this. His only concern for that exact day was how it played out on the wall of his tent. For the beginning of that day he sat there, just staring, as heart bubbles slowly emanated off the top of his head. He even forgot to polish his weapons.

The rest of the Keroro Platoon, however, knew better. They gathered in the basement of the Hinata household that day, at their assigned desks, appearing as if they were about to launch an invasion plan. But no plan was forthcoming.

"Today, my platoon, we shall do no invading!" the sergeant, Keroro, announced. "It seems our Corporal isn't joining us for the moment, so we shall rant on in his absence!"

"Yay!" everyone cheered.

"Our first order of business," Keroro said, "is that we will each find a present to give the Corporal. It must not be crappy; it has to be filled with thought. And love. Make him appreciate it!" His black eyes shifted into a deluding shape. "Just, whatever you do, do not tell him that it's his birthday." He went back to normal. "Meet back here at 10 o'clock so we can start planning his surprise party. Any questions, Platoon?"

"Ooh! Ooh! I have one!" said Tamama, raising his hand high, and strangely, it stretched above his head.

"Yes, Private?"

Tamama began to propose his question. "Why are we doing this all today? Shouldn't we have begun planning this stuff yesterday, when we actually had time to put it all together?"

"Well, yes…." Keroro rubbed the back of his neck uncertainly. "We would have, but… I kind of only found out today…."

**(Wow. Guess who's a sucky friend.)**

"Leader-dono, I have a question," said Dororo.

"Whoa! Dororo! When did you get here?" Keroro gasped.

Tears began welling in Dororo's eyes. "I—I—I've been here since you began, Keroro-kun!" The tears were promptly sucked back up. "Nonetheless, might I ask why you are doing this?"

"What do you mean, Dororo?"

"Well… for _my_ birthday last year, you didn't get me anything!" Dororo blurted out.

"Uh-oh, guess I forgot." Keroro forced an innocent-sounding laugh. "But, really, I just want to be a good friend. That's what friends do for each other: shower them in presents."

"Ku, ku, ku, ku, ku. Is that really you true motive? Because it seemed that for all _your_ birthdays, the Corporal made it a point not to get you anything," Kululu pointed out.

"Uh… how do you know that?" he asked.

"About not getting you presents?" asked Kululu. "I stalked you in training school."

"Yeah… you're not weird at all." Keroro cleared his throat. "I guess you just don't understand, Kululu. Friends give each other presents. And because I'm that nice of a guy, I'm willing to throw Giroro-kun a huge, unnecessary party." In reality, his true motive was to flatter Giroro so much that he would feel utterly compelled to repay him on Keroro's birthday, and make up for all the times he never got him a present. He was hoping it would work this time, since his last get-people-to-shower-me-in-presents-by-planning-such-a-great-surprise-party-for-Natsumi-dono plan was such a flop. By that logic, Giroro was bound to have a much kinder heart.

"Wait a minute… are you humoring me, narrator?" Keroro said.

**(Yes. Yes, I am. I'm glad you've figured out.)**

Meanwhile, above the ladder, down the hall, up the stairs, and in a bedroom, Natsumi dressed after waking up, made breakfast, and headed down into the basement to awaken Keroro and tell him it was time to eat. Her hand was just moving toward the knob, when she heard the word "Giroro" and "birthday" inside. So instead of coming in, she decided to eavesdrop like the snoop she was.

"Hey, I'm not a snoop!" she defended.

**(Of course you aren't….)**

"Let's try and make his birthday unforgettable! For him!" Keroro resolved. "And remember, our excuse will be that on Keron, friends shower each other in presents! The beauty of this is that Giroro-kun won't know because he doesn't pay attention to his own culture!"

"Yay!" came the round of cheers.

_So, it's Giroro's birthday,_ Natsumi thought. _And the stupid frog said Keronese friends shower each other in presents._

**(Uh, no. I think you heard it wrong.)**

"Oh, shut up." Natsumi continued her internal monologue. _Giroro and I are friends, aren't we? I'll just have to give him as many presents as I can, then…._ She walked off without telling Keroro it was breakfast time.

Natsumi soon found getting Giroro a birthday present was harder than it seemed. She began pacing in circles around the living room, every now and then shouting, "Ah-ha!" with an idea, but then afterwards realizing that shoes aren't edible, fish can't fly, apples can't talk, etc., etc. Natsumi ran he hand through her bangs, finding that she had no idea what Giroro would like as a present. Sweet potatoes would be pointless; he'd just feed them to her. No pets; he already had one. And anything that implied weakness or softness was out of the question.

"Well, if I don't know, then I'll just have to ask the people who know him best," she decided, smacking her fist into her palm.

Fuyuki was the first victim to be questioned.

"Uh… sis, you're better friends with the Corporal than I am," her brother reminded her.

Natsumi looked to the side, ashamed that she had forgotten. "I know, just… what do you think Giroro would appreciate as a present?"

Fuyuki thought a moment. "Hmmm… he likes weapons…. Why don't you get him a gun?"

"A gun. Right! Of course. How could I have forgotten?" she said.

Natsumi went to work immediately. While Giroro was busy fantasizing, Natsumi snuck inside his tent and snagged his weapons catalogue. When she found a good one, she beat Kululu to death and forced him to make it.

"Giroro," called Natsumi, standing outside his tent.

"Huh?" Giroro was pulled back into reality at the sound of Natsumi calling his name. He stepped out of his tent to find her there, her arms behind her back as if she was hiding something. "S-something the matter, Natsumi?"

She giggled and handed the gun to him. "Here!" she offered. "For you!" Natsumi hoped tying it with a red ribbon wouldn't defeat the purpose of a deadly weapon.

"WHA—?" Giroro gasped, taking the gun in his hand. "Wha-wha-wha-what's the m-meaning of this?"

"Oh, it's just a present," Natsumi smiled, walking off. "I hope you enjoy it!" Before she left, she ducked behind the corner of the house to watch Giroro's reaction.

Giroro hugged the gun to his chest and mumbled, "I will treasure this forever."

"Score!" Natsumi whisper-shouted, then quieted down so Giroro wouldn't hear her. "Onto the next present!"

The next person to be asked was Koyuki.

"Hm…" Koyuki began, "give Giroro-san something to prove your friendship with each other."

"Prove friendship… prove friendship…" thought Natsumi. "I know! What says friendship more that a friendship bracelet? …Oh, wait…." She then realized the setbacks of that plan: a) Friendship bracelets were more of a girl thing, and b) even if she did make one, Giroro's wrists were rather small. How could she make Giroro something that would both prove their friendship _and_ look cool?

Thus, her new idea was born.

"Giroro!" she called to him again.

Giroro came out of his tent. "Something you n-need?"

"I want you to have this!" Natsumi spread out her hands to reveal the chain of threaded patterns.

"Wh-what's that?" he asked.

"A friendship belt!" Natsumi told him. "I knew you wouldn't like a friendship bracelet, because that wouldn't really look cool, so I made a belt instead!"

"A—a—a—a—what?" Giroro took the belt in his hand. "Th-th-th-th-thank y-y-y-you…."

Natsumi gave a smile, then hid to watch what he did. Giroro snapped his head to both sides, then slipped the friendship belt under his original one.

"He liked it!" she squealed.

Natsumi went to confront Momoka next, to find the perfect present for Giroro.

"A present for Giro-san?" asked Momoka. "Hmmm… tough one. I only think about Fuyuki, so everyone else's lives don't usually matter to me. I guess, maybe if you gave him a picture of yourself or something, he would love that."

"A picture? Of me?" Natsumi laughed. "Why?"

"Oh, just do it," Momoka said.

Natsumi went through all her photo albums, searching for a picture of herself that might appeal to Giroro. She wasn't exactly sure what he'd like, because obviously it wasn't like Giroro had any _physical_ interests in her or anything. Noooo, of course not. Finally, she found one. A photo that someone, probably Kululu, had taken, and slipped into her photo album. A cute one, she thought, of them eating sweet potatoes together. Natsumi removed it and went into the backyard to give it to Giroro.

"What's this?" he asked when she handed it to him.

"I don't know. Just… a picture. Of us. Together," she answered.

Giroro became so shocked, the picture dropped from his hand. "U-US? T-TOGETHER? Mmmmmm… us… together…."

"I'll… take that as he enjoyed it," Natsumi decided. After she left to go, Giroro slipped the picture into his belt, where he wouldn't lose it.

Natsumi didn't bother asking Paul next, so instead she went to talk to Keroro. "Hey, stupid frog!" she yelled at him as he worked the vacuum.

"Yes, Natsumi-dono?" Keroro asked.

She quieted her tone so certain spacefrogs polishing guns with red ribbons on them in the backyard wouldn't hear. "What do you think would be a good present for Giroro?"

"Hmmm… a Gundam model," he answered.

Natsumi grinned. "Okay, since you know him best, I'll take your word…"

"Gero, gero, gero."

"…and give him one of yours." She headed toward his bedroom.

Keroro's jaw dropped open. "WHA—? Wait! Natsumi-dono, don't go in there!"

His protests were to no avail, because the next present Giroro received from Natsumi was a Gunpla.

"A Gundam model?" Giroro glanced down at it, then glanced back up at Natsumi, as he polished the gun she gave him. "What, do you need me to burn it or something?"

"No, it's a present," said Natsumi. "I want you to have it."

"Sh-she w-wants me to have it?" Giroro muttered to himself. "Well, I guess… since _she_ gave it to me… I'll keep it."

" 'She?' Who's 'she?' " Natsumi asked unperceptively, but Giroro was already off in fantasyland. Again. "Hmm… he must have not liked it. I'll have to ask Tamama next."

"Giroro-senpai wants candy," Tamama said at once, when Natsumi came to visit him in his room in the Nishizawa mansion.

"What? I haven't asked you anything yet, though," said Natsumi.

Tamama forced a nervous laugh. "Oopsie. I'm still trying to get over those issues."

But Natsumi was already gone with her plot to candy-up Giroro.

Giroro found a box by his tent not too later that day. When he found the coast was clear, he picked it up and retired back into his tent. A letter was attached to the box. He turned it over to see the name.

From Natsumi

"It—it—it—it's from N-Natsumi!" said Giroro. "Again!" He took the lid off to find what was inside: a bunch of heart-shaped candies. "Could this be implying something?" he wondered.

Natsumi watched in the background through special goggles that could see through tents. (Kululu's invention, of course.) "I'll pretend I didn't hear that last part," she said.

She wondered if she should skip Kululu, but then decided she could always decline his idea of the perfect present for Giroro.

"The perfect present?" asked Kululu. Natsumi nodded. "For the Captain?"

"No, Giroro," she corrected.

"Right, I knew that. Ku, ku, ku." Kululu spun around to face her in his chair. "What the Corporal would want, above all else, is…"

"Yes?"

"…to get beaten up. Ku, ku, ku, ku, ku."

Natsumi raised an eyebrow. "Get beaten up? Why…?" Then it hit her. "Oh! Of course! Giroro wants to fight, doesn't he?"

"Huh?" said Kululu.

"It makes so much sense! He never gets to fight, since you guys never invade, so he needs someone to match him in a battle!" Natsumi said. "I'll be right back!"

Natsumi sprinted into the backyard, where she found Giroro making Miss Furbottom chase grenades. "Take this, Giroro!" she yelled as her fist made contact with his jaw (wherever it was).

"What th—?" Giroro had no time to finish his moment of confusion, because a window magically appeared in the air, and he soared right through it. What the window was there for, no one knows. Some say it was an alien race that took the forms of inanimate household objects, like windows, walls, lamps, chairs, and doors. Others say Natsumi hallucinated the window all along. But whatever the reason was, it's completely irrelevant to the plot.

Giroro landed, skidding across the grass as dirt and green collected onto his sore face. "Wh-what was the point of that?" he asked, getting up to brush himself off.

"You mean the random window?" asked Natsumi. "Not sure."

"No, why did y-you punch me?" Then it came to Giroro. _Crap. She saw me belt that picture, didn't she? And that Gundam, I didn't burn it. Oh, no! I'm terrible to our cause of destroying model toys!_

"You wanted me to punch you, didn't you?" Natsumi said.

"Yes, of course," Giroro said indifferently. "I mean, NO! No, of course not! Never! Not in a million years!"

Natsumi dismissed this with a wave of her hand. "Oh, come on. Fess, up, soldier. You totally wanted an even match with a Pekoponian."

Giroro, however, was still busy denying things that were never said. "No! No, I don't enjoy physical contact between us at all! I—Wait, what?"

"I said, you wanted to battle a Pekoponian. …Didn't you?"

His shoulders slumped, and he took his hands away from his bright pink face. …The pink that _wasn't_ from the bruise. "Uh… yeah, sure."

"Heh. Knew it," Natsumi said. "Well, I'll be going."

It was right as she turned on her heel when the truth hit her like a Giroro running into a wall. Giroro… he enjoyed that present. But the present was Kululu's idea. _Kululu's._ Kululu's ideas never turned out well. Natsumi shrugged. Maybe, he had made a change for the better?

**(No, I doubt that, Natsumi. Kululu just likes to spread pain.)**

"Aww… I thought I was onto something," she moaned.

"Natsumi, who are you talking to?" Giroro asked.

A chill went up her spine. "Th-th-the narrator…."

**(Yeah, Giroro. You don't imagine those voices in your head, you know…~)**

"ACK! DIE, NARRATOR-THING!" He whipped out his guns and shot me. Owwwww—….

**(Okay, I'm better.)** The next person/frog to be consulted was Dororo.

"Dororo," Natsumi asked, "What do you think Giroro would want, as the perfect present?"

Dororo stood atop a telephone pole, silent at first, as the wind creeped over his blue Keronian body. "Giroro-kun. Ah, yes. He would like flowers."

"Flowers," Natsumi echoed. "Thank you, I'll go do that."

"Wait!" Dororo called, and added, "Flowers that are romantic."

"Romantic? Why romantic?" she wondered. "Giroro doesn't strike me as the romantic type of guy—I mean, frog."

Dororo tried to remain silent, tried to hold in his laugh. Keyword: _tried_.

"Hey! Why are you laughing at me?" Natsumi complained. "It's not funny that I accidentally called him a guy instead of a frog."

This only made Dororo laugh more.

Nevertheless, Natsumi went forth to find Giroro some flowers. She made sure to find the most romantic type possible.

"What is it, Natsumi?" Giroro asked as she stood by his tent that evening. "You keep coming back and forth to me. What's going on?"

"Well… I—I wanted to give you these." Natsumi handed him the bouquet of roses. "D-do you like them?"

"R-r-r-r-r-r-r—Roses?" Giroro stuttered out. "Wh-why?"

Natsumi just shrugged. "Dororo told me to give you something romantic. Do you like them?"

"Uh… um… y-yes," he squeaked. "Th-th-they're very nice."

"Good!" Natsumi smiled.

Dororo swooped down from the sky in the background. "Actually, Natsumi-dono, I was implying for them to be _nature_-romantic."

"Oh… oops." Natsumi blushed, and so did Giroro, but not for the same reason.

"Sh-she gave me r-roses!" was all Giroro said. "Roses… mmmm…."

Natsumi looked over at Giroro. "Weird. I guess he _does_ like romantic stuff. That, or he likes the way roses smell." She thought about this. "Yeah, definitely the second one." She turned to Dororo. "Oh. Who are you?"

Dororo left in a fit of tears.

"Geez. Was it something I said?"

After she left the tent, Natsumi glanced down at her list of people she was going to ask and realized there was only one person left.

"Of course!" She face-palmed. "How could I forget? _He'll_ know the absolute perfect present for Giroro!" Natsumi skipped off, humming as she did so. She stopped when she spotted him on the street.

"Saburo-senpai!" she called, waving him down. Saburo came, his bag flung over his shoulder, and cutting class, as usual, despite it being a weekend.

"Cool, whatever. Need something, Natsumi-chan?" he asked.

_Oh my British history, he said my name,_ Natsumi thought, her heart pounding. _I mean…_ "What do you think would be a perfect present for Giroro?"

"Hmmm…." Saburo began to consider it.

_This is it! This is where he says something totally cool and whatever!_ she inwardly squealed. **(Wake up, Natsumi. This is the real world.)**

"Hmmm… the perfect present for Giroro-san…." He rubbed his chin. "A duck."

"Wow! How great! A—Wait, a _duck_?" said Natsumi. "Why a duck?"

"Everyone loves a duck," Saburo told her. "They're so… so yellow. Like my hat."

**(Actually, adult ducks are white or brown, genius.)**

"Aww," Saburo whined.

"Yeah, I think I'll skip on the duck," Natsumi decided. "I wouldn't know where to find one." She waved him off and left. _Well, that was a total downer,_ she thought.

Natsumi opened the front door of her house and stepped inside, slipping her shoes off. "I'm home, Fuyuki," she said.

"Oh, hey, sis." His voice came from the living room. "The Sarge wants you to meet with him in the base. They're throwing the Corporal's surprise party."

"Yeah… I'm sure he knows by now," Natsumi muttered.

In fact, it was the complete opposite. That very moment in the backyard, Giroro was stoking his tiny bonfire and wondering, _Natsumi… why was she giving me those random gifts? Those roses, the heart-shaped candies…. C-c-could it be sh-she l-likes me?_

**(Wow, you even stutter in your **_**thoughts**_**? Kind of sad.)**

"Sh-shut up!" Giroro shouted, and went back to fantasizing. _No, wait… the rest of them were giving me presents, too. And I don't even want to THINK that for a minute THEY have something going toward me. Ew. My cat, she gave me a present, too. Blech, out-of species. Luckily, it's not true… or is it? What's going on, then?_

"Corporal!~~~" Keroro called from in the house. "Meet in the base, okay? We're having a late invasion meeting!"

Giroro glanced back at his bonfire, sighed, and went into the house.

It was just as he set foot into the base that the lights flipped on and everyone shouted, "Surprise!"

"Huh? What happened?" Giroro asked, stunned. "Am I going off to my death or something?"

"Nope!" Keroro hopped off his desk to shake his not-so-friend's hand. "Today's your birthday! According to the Pekoponian calendar, that is."

"My birthday? What?" he said, glancing over at the date on the wall. "Yeah, I guess it is. No reason to celebrate though. Now, about that invasion meeting."

"Gero, gero, gero. Oh, that was just a lie we used to manipulate you into coming here."

"H-HEY!" Giroro fumed.

"But anyway, we're all here, and it's all good, so just… have a good time, and let people shower you in presents. The invasion can wait. Today's about you!" said Keroro.

"Grrr… if you're so intent on pleasing me, then why don't we invade already?" Giroro growled.

Keroro backed up on shaky legs as his red subordinate advanced on him. "Because today is a day where… where you get presents, and joy… and… and happiness. (And also pay me back when _my_ birthday comes.)"

"I heard that last part!" Giroro said. He sighed. "Well, I can see we're not invading today." His eyes scanned the room. "So, everyone's here…."

"Yup! Down to the last frog and person… that matters on this planet!" Keroro confirmed.

Giroro narrowed his already-slanty eyes. "…Where's Natsumi?"

"Oh, Natsumi-dono? She's right… there." Keroro pointed to the spot she was last in. "She's… gone. Huh. Guess she didn't like the party."

"I… I'll go look for her!" Giroro said. He ran off before Keroro could stop him.

Natsumi paced around anxiously in the backyard as Miss Furbottom entwined around her moving legs. "Erg. I have to… have to…. I didn't do anything right!" she said. "What I really need is a present that Giroro would treasure forever, something that he would never forget. I want to make this the greatest day of his life!" She sat down, slumped, on a concrete weight. "I need something memorable. Something that will make him so happy, he'll cry."

Miss Furbottom looked up at her and gave a long meow.

"I know. I mean, I don't. Don't know what you're saying. At least you're not avoiding me," said Natsumi.

Miss Furbottom turned her nose in the air, stubbornly stomping off into Giroro's tent.

"Wait, don't leave me!" Natsumi said. "Awwww… I was about to pet her, too."

The tent flap opened and Miss Furbottom came creeping out, something in her mouth.

"Hm? What's this?" Natsumi picked up the item the whitish kitten had placed at her feet. "Odd… isn't this that _All Things Are Living_ raygun Kululu made? The one that changes animals into soldiers/people? I wonder why Giroro had it in his tent…."

If cats could face-palm, Miss Furbottom would.

"Oh, well. He probably just wanted to keep it away from Kululu or something," Natsumi dismissed. Miss Furbottom nudged her. "What's the matter, kitty?"

She stood up on her hind legs and placed her paws on the raygun.

"Hm? You want me to shoot you?"

Miss Furbottom nodded. **(Wow. Smart cat.)**

Natsumi's eyes widened in joy. "Oh, of course! You want to tell me what the perfect present for Giroro would be!"

Natsumi held up the raygun, zapping her with light. The cat disappeared and in her place stood a human girl with white hair and a leotard.

"Naturally, you would know since I hear he… talks to you… more than he does me…" Natsumi muttered glumly. "So, Miss Furbottom, what would Giroro love and treasure, above all else? What could I give him that he would never forget in a million years?"

Miss Furbottom stood there, her tail swishing. Then, she opened her tiny mouth, and gave the answer that would be her only line in the story.

"A kiss."

"A… kiss?" Natsumi repeated. "Why a kiss?"

But Miss Furbottom's moment for screen time had already expired, and she was recattened. **(I don't care if that's a word; it is now.)**

"Wow… a kiss… how will I fit that into a conversation?" Natsumi wondered.

"Natsumi! There you are!" a voice behind her shouted. Giroro ran up to her from inside the house. Unfortunately, she didn't open the sliding glass door quickly enough, and he smacked into it. "Owwwww…" the red frog moaned.

"Are you okay, Giroro?" She pushed the glass door aside, and went to tend to him. "You ran into that door pretty fast," she told him, picking him up in her arms and giving his head a stroke. Giroro froze at her touch.

"It's just a door…. I've run into worse," Giroro assured her. "Walls, most of the time. But—"

Natsumi cut him off as she pressed her lips full against his. Giroro gave a moan of delight, not understanding if it was real or not, but kissed back nonetheless, vowing to savor every bit of it. His hand went up to her face, brushing the hair off her forehead and going down to caress her cheek. His other hand wandered to her back.

_I… guess he likes it,_ Natsumi thought to herself. _It… it's actually kind of enjoyable. I see why he'd want to do it. Mmm… he's… a really good kisser._ The rest of her thoughts were censored.

Giroro's thoughts: (Sorry, guys. Due to excessive heart bubbles, we are having technical difficulties in interpreting what Giroro is currently—WHOA! Sorry, that's not appropriate for our rating.)

Natsumi eventually had to pull away because she realized people **(like me, but I'm always there)** were watching. "There. Is that a good present?" she asked.

Giroro wasn't listening. He was too much in a daze to be able to comprehend anything in reality. So all he said was, "This… is the best day of my life!"

Natsumi giggled. "Happy birthday, Giroro."

They pulled in for another kiss.

And come December, one sad, lonely soul found he received no presents from his friends.

THE END

* * *

**Hmm, what is that sound? Ah, it is the sound of more GiroNatsu being added to the world. And now the story has ended, soooo this A/N is kind of pointless. But I love writing A/Ns, so... too bad.**


End file.
